Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Ten Pictures of Vladimir Putin Looking Heroic

Vladimir Putin is more than a little control-freak-style dictatorial. Impeccable his politics are not. One thing, though, that Vladimir Putin has over all of his political rivals, both at home and abroad, is his photogenic nature and incredible hubris when it comes to being photographed. There is a wide range of photos out there of Vladimir Putin, a many man engaged in manly things. Here are a mere ten.

1.VLADIMIR PUTIN POSING FOR A PORTRAIT: This picture comes from the Time Magazine website, so it might be an official state portrait or something the magazine commissioned. Either way, even in an 'official capacity', this man still looks cool.Vladimir Putin Portrait for Time Magazine

2.VLADIMIR PUTIN IN A BEEFCAKE PHOTO: And then there's this - clearly a posed photograph, but one in which he's wearing a wifebeater and showing off his manly muscles. Probably not a state portait, this one. Though you never know.Vladimir Putin Beefcake

3.VLADIMIR PUTIN IN A JUDO COMPETITION: It is true that Putin does judo. And he's not kidding about it, either: he has a black belt and is clearly capable of throwing competitors around as if they were rag dolls. This competitor might be taking one for the glory of Mother Russia, except that the competition is in Japan, and I can't tell if he's Russian or not.Vladimir Putin in a Judo Competition in Japan

4.VLADIMIR PUTIN PUNCHES OUT A LITTLE KID: And when the competition gets too tough, Putin can always relax by kicking a little juvenile ass.Vladimir Putin Attacking a Small Boy

5.VLADIMIR PUTIN HOLDING A TRANQUILISER GUN: There are plenty of photos of Putin holding guns, many as manly as if they were stills from a Tarantino movie. This isn't actually a gun but a tranquiliser. He still looks like Rambo holding it, though.Vladimir Putin Taking Aim

6.VLADIMIR PUTIN HUNTING TIGERS: And this is why. The headline, that Putin saves a film crew by sedating a tiger, is Kim Jong-Il-esque in its chutzpah. But clearly he's been a-huntin'. Presumably he's about to dismember that animal with his bare hands, ripping out its still-beating heart.Vladimir Putin Hunting Tiger

7.VLADIMIR PUTIN COMMUNICATING WITH DOLPHINS: Okay, this one isn't quite so heroic (there's one where he's swimming in a Siberian lake and looking like Moses parting the Red Sea), but it's still awesome to see Vlad chilling out in Cuba commisserating with dolphins.Vladimir Putin and a Dolphin

8.VLADIMIR PUTIN RIDING OFF INTO THE SUNSET: Another animal with which Putin has an affinity. Putin seems to ride horses a lot, sometimes fully clothed. This topless horse ride is not intended as a protest against taxes, I don't imagine. Perhaps he's chanelling the spirit of Genghis Khan.Vladimir Putin on Horseback

9.VLADIMIR PUTIN HIGH ON THE HOG: But a horse is so outré. What a dictator really needs is a bitchin' Harley on which to parade about, Russian flag fluttering and sunglasses in effect.Vladimir Putin on a Harley-Davidson

10.VLADIMIR PUTIN AS DAVID CARUSO IN CSI: MOSCOW: Those shades. Just look at them... Who else can pull off a set of Aviator sunglesses so adeptly? This is one cool guy. I can't look at this picture and not hear Roger Daltrey in my head screaming "Yeaaaah!"Vladimir Putin as David Caruso in CSI: Moscow